i don't want for us to take pills anymore

Been listening to this great Panda Bear remix of the Notwist's song "Boneless." It is more of a cover, really. I made a playlist of 195 new songs I downloaded and I'm going through it at work right now. Lena asked me, doesn't it all just blend together? Well, yeah. But I like to look at it as flooding my senses, and then when something stands out, I run with it.

10:44am. I've barely been at work for two hours. It's so beautiful outside. Shockingly sunny and 59 degrees. I think I'll take every chance I can to take a break and walk around outside. They finally turned on the fountain in City Hall park, right next to my building. Happy day.

This weekend is Easter weekend. Tomorrow I'm babysitting for Laura after work and then Saturday Hannah is having a girly drug-filled slumber party at her parents' place in Jersey. Her parents are out of town for two weeks, so Lena, Flear and I are headed over there Sat pm. My fam asked me to come for dinner to Gloria's on Saturday, but in true Darcey form, they waited until today to ask. So I get to feel guilty about having to miss it. I wish I could go to Hannah's, Gloria's, and to Market Hotel to see Black Dice play all in the same night. Has anyone ever seen that movie Multiplicity?? Michael Keaton, where are you when I need you...

My roommate Josh got laid off last Friday. At first I felt bad for him. But get this - he gets paid the rest of the month, is going on vacation for a week with his family to Dominican Repub, and then gets to collect unemployment. And I don't know about him exactly, but that's about as much as I am making right now. I would fucking loooove to get laid off.

Lately I've realized the reason this job is making me so depressed is because I have no plans for my next step in life. Usually I can do this sort of mindless office work because I'm keeping it in mind that it is temporary, it is in order to accomplish a short term goal of saving some amount or paying some debt, until I get back to school. Or until I pay off my credit card. Or until I can afford a first payment on an apartment, etc. So I figger, all I need is to make a goal for my next step. I reapplied to Americorps NCCC for the winter term of this year, and I started in on the hugely daunting process of applying to grad school. I'm consider Antioch University's Masters in Psychology program, or Antioch in Santa Barabara, before getting my phD or psyD eventually. I feel at a disadvantage not having a BA in Psych. Tammy Fraser at Bennington's FWT/Career Devel office scheduled a phone meeting with me to give me some advice. Feel better already.

It also doesn't help that I haven't been making any creative video work lately. (And that there are no windows in my part of this office.) But my iMac G5 crashed, and I just recently got my father to come pick it up and have it fixed. It only cost $90 for a new power supply, but then they found that the optical drive was totally crapped out. This I knew, because it wouldn't burn CD's/DVD's for a few years now, and it barely plays any discs you put in. So they wanted $300 for that. Ha. Jimi found the part for $90 and he's gonna do it himself. Not that I have $180 to pay for any of it, anyway. So that turned into a thing with my parents, of course, mediating between the two. Blah blah blah.

After work today I'm going to Ivy's place in Crown Heights. It's huge and beautiful and the building is super nice, but it's a hike to get out there.

City Hall park 04/09/09. It's too nice to be in here right now.

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